So, Looners substitute balloons for love, sex and intimacy? What a
total misunderstanding of a fetish if I ever seen one.
Anyway, lets discuss this article in greater detail. Quotes from the article in grey italics.
For
children, balloons can make the heart soar, but when an adult tucks
his balloons into bed at night, he could be considered a "looner."
Excellent, children are brought into the picture. Anyway, I'm going
to assume this line is just an interesting hook for the reader, and
nothing sinister implied about looners here. Balloons are a party
decoration.
Loving
balloons seems harmless enough, but Dr. Rebecca Beaton, director and
founder of the Stress
Management Institute,
said attachment to objects can be considered a mental illness if it
interferes with daily life or causes great stress.
Firstly, Dr. Rebecca Beaton. Looking her up, she specialises in
anxiety disorders. I wonder why this journalist did not consult an
expert in sexual fetishes or paraphillia? It probably has something
to do with her links with TV, such as Fox News. No matter, a
clinician will have extensive experience with those with mental
illness of some kind or another, not your every day kinky couple. One
who specialises in anxiety disorders will see those whose anxiety is
ruining their lives and their fetish may be causing some of this
anxiety. This is like comparing people who are in rehab for drug
addiction to those who take stimulants every now and again when they
go clubbing. Sure, there is overlap, but the reasons for drug taking
are completely different. Some people have a great deal of pain in
their lives, and some people just want to feel good.
This [people seeing a psychologist for therapy] is a specific subset
of the population – which David Collins or Chris Burney may or may
not be part of. Also, those two people's experience does not apply to
every other looner out there, such as myself either. Stop.
Generalizing!
Next. Yes, a fetish can be considered a mental illness. The key words here from the DSM are cause clinically significant
distress. Usually the problem is if the fetish object is
required for sexual arousal. Sex partners usually don't like this, so it causes relationship problems. However I believe the majority of
looners are also equally, if not more, attracted to regular sex, be
it straight, gay or bi. But some of us, including myself do require
balloons. For many people balloons,
and other fetish objects and activities, like BDSM, are a kink and
is considered a healthy sex life. I don't see Dr. Beaton commenting
on the sadomasochism found in 50 Shades of Grey (mind you, I have not
read the book, so I don't know much about it). But lets hear about people substituting pain for love and intimacy?
I haven't got time to sit around to research and report on fetishes as a psychiatric disorder. Wikipedia has a discussion on it:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Paraphilia
Interesting to note is the bit on optional, preferred and exclusive
paraphillia.
"I presume he has some difficulty with relationships
with other people if he has a balloon under his shirt," said
Beaton, who has never treated Dave.
Emphasis mine. Well yeah, people who put balloons under their shirts
because it feels nice are freaks... that's what the NetGeo segment
and this article insinuates! I don't know if he has problems...
should ask him. Not only has Dr. Beaton not treated Dave, she has not spoken to him, let alone conducted any sort of clinical interview. She just watched a 1 minute video.
"It
feels like intimacy but it's not a real human and humans can hurt
you," she said. "It's safer with an inanimate object …
They don't feel so alone."
I don't know how stereotypical this comment is, it's like it came
straight from a pop psychology book. Well balloons can hurt Dave...
when they pop. So that's not true. But this is not the reason people
have fetishes. Or in Dave's case, a non sexual fetish. I can only
speak for myself, but it has nothing to do with intimacy, love and
loneliness. In my case, for some reason, I feel sexually attracted
to balloons. I do not feel attached to them. I watch videos of people sitting on balloons, and I get
aroused. I sit and bounce on balloons until they pop and hump them to orgasm. Specific types of balloons are more 'sexy' than others. I
started feeling sexually attracted either before or during puberty.
It is unknown how fetishes form, but there are several theories on
sexual development. Again, wikipedia it:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sexual_fetishism
for some of them. But this has nothing do with turning to balloons (or any other fetish object) from the lack of intimacy from humans. In my case, am simply not
sexually attracted to humans. And it feels like sexual pleasure, not like intimacy. However I do not know what it's like to have a non sexual fetish so perhaps it applies to that as there seems to be attachment involved. Again, simply asking would answer our questions and put an end to this pop psych speculation.
Honestly this is like saying “Gay men
are attracted to other men because they can't get it with women and don't feel alone”.
"A
fetish is when a person prefers an object to a live person, and it
becomes a requirement for a sexual response"
You
fail the exam. Read the DSM. Even the psychiatric classification of
fetish does not state that it is a requirement for a sexual response,
as discussed above. I know for a fact this does not apply to Chris
and his partner. And 'prefer' means 'prefer for sexual activity'.
Intimacy =/= sexual activity (unless talking about sexual intimacy
specifically).
What
Christopher really wants is to share his love of balloons with a
woman.
And
that, says psychologist Beaton, is exactly the point. Attractions to
objects like balloons are often just "coping mechanisms."
Okay,
wtf? A coping mechanism? For what? And get with the news... Chris has a girlfriend which he shares his love of balloons... and love of her with. This would be known if the author simply attempted to contact him.
"They
are using the balloons to fill the need for intimacy," she said.
"We try to help them find other ways of getting those intimacy
needs met and helping them to realize that they can self-soothe and
gradually start to change."
Oh
right, this lack of intimacy again. Message:
INTIMACY
=/= SEXUAL PLEASURE
If
there is an issue with a lack of intimacy, the fetish may be a cause
rather than the lack of intimacy causing a fetish. That's what I am
reading from this article “sexual fetishes is caused by a lack of
intimacy with humans' and 'fetishes are for loners'. [Although I
have to lol at how similar the words looner and loner are!!] This is
just stupid and a gross generalization of a diverse range of people.
When
I am feeling lonely or anxious, I don't jump on those balloons for
some soothing. Perhaps she thinks people masturbate when they are
feeling lonely in order to feel better. Hey, maybe some people do,
who knows? But I thought people fapped when they are horny. Perhaps
I am wrong here. Ahem. I certainly 'pleasure myself with balloons'
when I'm in the mood. When I'm stressed, anxious, and feeling depressed, I'm rarely in the room. I don't get any feeling of
intimacy with balloons, I just get sexual pleasure and a lot of it.
People get sexual pleasure from all sorts of other things, it's a
normal variation on human behaviour.
I
am attracted to balloons and I don't know why and you don't either.
Don't pretend you do.
